Spock's Brain
by Romancefantasy
Summary: Here's another deleted scene from Bound to You. It just didn't fit anywhere in the story's timeline. It takes place right after the TOS episode of the same title.


"What a waste it is to lose one's mind. Or not to have a mind is being very wasteful. How true that is."  
Vice President Dan Quayl

* * *

** Spock's Brain**

Spock's buzzer rang but he chose to ignore it. He was sitting in the dark of his cabin, on the floor with the flame of the meditation lamp faintly dying. He was in no mood for companionship from the Captain or inquiries about his health from McCoy or even worse Nurse Chapel. He was 'fine' as humans often put it. He didn't want to discuss his recent experience and he only wanted to be left alone to process it in his own way. Why couldn't the Captain and the Doctor understand this about him?

The door buzzed again and still, he ignored it. They would take the hint... eventually.

However, his keen ears shortly heard the swish of his cabin door as someone entered. He was prepared to dress down his intruder when he detected a floral fragrance. Uhura.

Of course, Lieutenant Uhura had the lock code to his quarters, though she rarely used it. They had exchanged door codes as a symbol of mutual trust and respect when Spock began tutoring Uhura in music. And she had never abused his trust until now.

Spock didn't acknowledge her presence. He continued to stare into the flame even as he heard Uhura walk into his bedroom and sit down beside him on the floor. They sat in silence together for a long time before Spock finally spoke. "Lieutenant Uhura, why are you here?"

"I remember waking up after Nomad attacked me. I was so frightened. I didn't understand what had happened to me. I didn't know who I was or where I was or who the people in sickbay were. I was operating on pure instinct and adrenalin. I think I would have gone feral if you hadn't come along. I looked at you and I knew you were different from the others. You were so calm, so peaceful. You settled something inside of me even if I didn't understand what was being said. I understood you. I understand you. I know you can't talk about what happened to you, but I just wanted to be here for you the way you were there for me."

"I imagine you do understand. Lieutenant, losing one's mind is a unique experience is it not?"

"You say it as if we simply misplaced our minds. Your brain was stolen from you and my memory was stolen from me. But it certainly is an experience, Mister Spock. Perhaps we can co-author a novel. We'll call it 'No Brain, No Problem'."

"Spock stifled a cough/laugh. I can think of a few people in Starfleet who merit an autographed copy."

"Indeed Mr. Spock? Was that a joke?"

"Lieutenant, you know me better than that."

"Mmm. Well just imagine, two people on the same ship, both having survived losing their minds, what are the odds?"

Spock thought for a moment and quickly tamped down the flash of panic he felt when he couldn't immediately calculate those odds.

"I... I don't know," he said with a soft voice.

"It doesn't matter honey. I was just teasing. I remember when I was recovering. I would have these flashes of memory and then, poof, gone. I was so afraid it would be gone forever. But we're living proof even a brain can be recovered and healed. I mean your brain was removed and now it's back. You're a miracle."

"Indeed."

Uhura looked around the darkened room and noticed books and data PADDs scattered around on the floor, on the work table, and even on Spocks always immaculate bed.

"You been doing some light reading?" she asked.

"I was trying to gauge my recovery."

"Well, I'm not Doctor McCoy but may I prescribe rest? Real human rest, not the Vulcan work until you drop kind of rest."

"I need to stay stimulated. I need to keep my neuropathways strong."

"I think you need a vacation from all of this thinking," she said waving her hand around the room. "Like on that amusement planet. Too bad the caretaker died. That would be a great place for some R&R. But we do have that new rec room with the halo programs. Have you tried it?"

"I have not tried it, though I have studied the schematics and programming. It is quite an interesting project though I question the use of so much manpower and energy dedicated to technology that amounts to little more than an elaborate game."

"Mr. Spock, you know what the Captain says. We need games to keep us sharp, that is what truly stimulates the brain. Studying is boring, playing is where it's at. Didn't you play any games on Vulcan as a child?"

"The games children are encouraged to play on Vulcan by and large are designed to promote logical thinking. Puzzles are very popular with the youngest children. However, when a child approaches the age of their Kahs-wan they begin more physical training."

"Kahs-wan?"

"Yes, the Kahs-wan is the traditional survival test of adulthood that adolescents undertake. The goal is to survive ten days alone on the Forge without food, water, or weapons."

"Goodness. And you do this as children?"

"Yes."

"I'm no expert on your Forge but I've read about the harsh conditions. Why do you allow your children to risk their lives doing something like that? I mean it sounds dangerous, has anyone ever died?"

"Yes, in times past children failed. Of course, now it is a controlled event and children are monitored. To fail on the first attempt is now almost expected. The goal is to learn from the experience and become a strong and capable member of society."

"So you did this Kahs-wan?"

"Yes, I did," Spock said succinctly.

"That doesn't sound encouraging. Did you fail your first attempt?"

"My first and only attempt was unorthodox just like myself. I survived but not without great loss."

"I'm sorry I brought it up. I'm supposed to be cheering you up not dredging up bad memories."

"Lieutenant, I don't require cheering up, this has been a waste of your time."

"Nonsense. Spending time with a friend is never a waste. Besides, maybe I needed this. I was worried sick about you, we all were. Knowing you're ok eases my mind."

Spock didn't know why but her words made him feel... something. Knowing Uhura worried for him, knowing she cared for him soothed something in him. It was quite illogical.

"If my companionship comforts you then I am at your service," Spock said.

"Thank you. And I'm sorry I just barged in on you. But I knew you'd be in here sulking-"

"I do not sulk." Spock cut in but Uhura kept speaking.

"-And I couldn't stand the thought of you going through all this alone when I know what it's like. You and I have to stick together." She bumped her shoulder against his.

Spock wanted to question why they should have to stick together but he stifled the impulse. He quite liked the idea of them sticking together. He liked it a lot. It made him think of them Like a matched pair. A couple. Another lapse in logic. Was he really losing his mind, or was it his heart that was failing him?


End file.
